Silent Treatment

Anyone who has ever been to the theatre or been in an argument knows that silence is a very powerful tool. It makes people uncomfortable—there is nothing to do but think when everything is silent. Think and wait. Sometimes more is said in silence than in words.

I’ve inadvertently used this tool over the last month. I haven’t posted anything since March 26^th. At first my writer’s block was nothing more than a source of shame. Why couldn’t I think of anything to write? Our culture has quite unfortunately given me a wealth of material on my topic. In fact, sometimes, there seems to be too much to write about. For some reason I could not organize my thoughts enough to say anything even marginally important. What was stopping me?

Then, one morning a little over a week ago, I realized why it was I’d been silent so long. I was trying to decide what to wear, and I was stumped and frustrated. I started to feel that burning anger and disappointment in the pit of your stomach that comes with disliking your own body. Then a thought crossed my mind: “Who are you to be promoting healthy body image when you can’t even practice what you preach?”

I snatched that one out of mid-air and examined it. Am I really a hypocrite? Do I have zero credibility because I tweeze my eyebrows until my eyes water on a regular basis?

After giving it some thought, I realized that my credibility comes from the fact that I am living the issues I am so passionate about. First hand. As are we all. I fight it hard every day.

My month of silence reminded me of how intensely difficult it is to be conscious of the sexist issues in our culture. It is hard to be aware the stuff that locks us into demeaning and insulting stereotypes and the experience it day after day after day.

It hurts.

But it’s worth it.

So keep me loud, internet. Tell me what you want to discuss. Cause we’ve got plenty of stuff to talk about.

-E